Lost and Lonely
by Itaweasel-hime
Summary: She couldn't stay, not when it would ruin everything that she held dear. At first, he had been angry, but as the years past, he realized just how much he really needed her. AU.


Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto.

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><p>Four weeks. That's how long this had gone on without her realizing it, assuming she had caught the flu. An entire month, and she was incapable of noticing just what had happened, and with whom. The very thought made her want to scream and cry at the same time, because she was so lost. He was still angry at her, and she could not even remember the reason anymore. They were fighting for the sake of fighting, it seemed, and all she could think was how wrong everything felt. He did not deserve this honor; it should have been some other man, someone that loved her, not him. Anxiously, she stood, pacing the small bathroom in an attempt to calm herself.<p>

He would be coming home soon, she knew. She would not be able to bear even looking at his face, when that happened. The thought that _he _had invoked such changes in her caused nothing but pain, because in the end, she knew he did not love her. He probably never had, she thought to herself, sniffling and wiping the tears from her face. She had no choice. She had to go, to be anywhere but there. She would come back in the morning to gather her things, once she was certain he had gone to work, and she would leave, never to see his face again, because as infuriated as she was with him, she still loved him. It would hurt more if she waited for him to find out, and have him push her away, so it was better that she pulled out of his life now.

Letting out a shaky sigh, she threw the door to the bathroom open, and entered the bedroom she shared with him. Carelessly, she dropped her towel, having just taken a shower, before she walked over to the dresser and took out a tank top and a pair of yoga pants. Not wasting any time, having none to afford, she tugged on the clothes, the only conscious thought that entered her mind was that she would have usually worn something of _his. _Forcing the notion from her mind, and trying very hard not to let her tears cloud her vision, she dug through the closet, snatching a backpack to bring what necessities she would require over night.

Blindly, she dashed about their apartment, grabbing her belongings, while letting the tears fall, unable to restrain herself any longer. Her life was falling apart, and she did not know what she could ever do to put it back together again, but she was tired of the awful silences, of all the hatred that hung between them. She could not stay here, not now, when it could completely ruin the lives of everyone she loved. She yanked on a light jacket-even if it was summer, it could still get cool at nights-before collecting her keys and stumbling out the door, slamming it shut and locking it roughly.

Anger took over as she stomped down the stairs to where her little, Suzuki sat, waiting for her to jump in and drive off, never to see his goddamned face again, because in all honesty, it was _his _fault. Gritting her teeth, she started the engine with a roar of abuse, before rearing out of her parking space much too quickly, and speeding out of the apartment complex. In her fury, she managed to run through a red light, but she could not make herself care.

At first, she hardly knew where she was going; if she went to Ino's she would either interrupt her while she was..._busy, _or be forced through an awful interrogation. She did not want her friend to know what had happened, not yet, if at all. Her parents would only tell her that they had been right, and that he was the good for nothing man they had said he was. As much as she agreed right then, she did not want to be criticized, when all she wanted was for someone to be there, to comfort her now, in her hour of need. Automatically, her Suzuki led her just where she needed to be.

Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto were her two best friends in the entire world, and had been since their high school years. They knew her better than anyone else in the world, and if anyone was going to hold her hand while she cried through this, it would be them. Their shared apartment was not twenty minutes from where she had been living, and with the speed she was driving, it would be an even shorter trip. There had been several cracks about their sexuality, since they were two males in their mid-twenties, both with jobs paying well enough for them to live on their own, but Sakura knew they were as straight as they came. She saw no point in thinking otherwise, after seeing their extensive DVD library of pornography, most of them having been directed by Naruto's godfather, Jiraiya.

Jerking into the guest spot of their building, she wrenched her keys from the ignition and hopped out of the car, not even looking back as she locked it with a small, black remote. She stormed through the building, eyes red and jaw clenched, before she reached their flat on the sixth floor. Not caring that it was late, and with their hectic schedules, they could already be asleep, she hammered her fist on the door impatiently. She wiped her nose with her sleeve as she waited, again knocking violently on the front door when it was not answered immediately, which she would have much preferred.

She was greeted by a pair of black, familiar eyes, and a stony frown. She did not want to think of who he reminded her of, at that moment.

"Sakura?" Sasuke asked upon realizing it was her that had been beating on his door, "What the hell happened?"

She did not care that he was not one for physical touch, and that he would not particularly like it. She fell forward and hugged him, the sobs she had been trying to keep in having escaped at last. Awkwardly, he stood frozen for a moment, before finally taking a hint, and lifting his arms to wrap them around her in a gesture of condolence. Sasuke ushered her in as she wailed, before quietly shutting the door. Naruto, who had heard the noise from another room, filed into the entrance area. He had been about to question who had hurt her, and why, before Sasuke sent him a subtle glare, as if to tell him to wait.

Sakura was thankful that they understood, because Naruto did not say anything as both of her best friends led her to the living room, and set her on their obnoxiously orange couch. They both sat with her patiently, knowing she would calm down after she had cried it all out, and they would get their answers after, but not before then. She kicked off her sneakers before tucking her feet beneath herself, leaning on Naruto's shoulder for support. All the while, Sasuke hesitantly rested his hand on her back, moving it in slow circles.

She lost track of time, and was not sure how long she had cried. It had not matter much anyway, because _he _would be home already, and he would know that she had left. Part of Sakura wanted him to call, to ask where she was and then race over to get her, she wished he would show that he cared, but knew well enough that he did not care for her, and wanting such things would only cause more misery in the future.

Sakura had reached a state of serenity, before Naruto's voice quietly questioned, "What did he do to you, Sakura-chan?"

Slowly, she sat upright, sniffling as she did so. It was not beyond her notice that Sasuke had bristled at this question, and she did not blame him; he was his brother, and he would not want to ever think badly of him. Still, she could not lie to her best friends, who had become more like family over the years. Sakura wrapped her arms about herself securely.

"Naruto, Sasuke," she breathed softly, "I'm..._pregnant." _

Neither male could do anything but stare at the girl who had slowly become like their sister more than anything else. Sakura could tell they were horrified by the thought, and did not know what could even be said, in such a situation. Neither of them, much like her parental figures, had approved of her relationship with him, and even from the beginning, had warned her that it would never end gracefully. For once, they had been right, and she was half expecting them to tell her that they had _told her so_, and that a man like him could not be trusted, could never return the same amount of love that she openly offered.

"Does he know yet?" Sasuke asked slowly.

He already knew the answer before she could even open her mouth to say anything. "I couldn't Sasuke. I only just found out a few hours ago, and I left before he could get home. He would hate me even more, if he knew." Sakura whispered back, dabbing at her eyes when a few stray tears made their way down her cheeks.

"Sakura," He tried patiently, "you have to tell him. Itachi is going to be pissed if he doesn't know about it early on. If you start to show-

"Itachi isn't going to know." She interrupted, her voice hardened with resolve. It was going to hurt them, because they were practically her brothers, and they would hate for her to leave them, even if it was only for a little while. She would always be back to visit, but she could not stay. Everything she saw in her home city of Tokyo would remind her of Itachi, and she would not stand for it.

Naruto snorted. "What are you gonna tell him, Sakura-chan? That you stuffed a pillow down your shirt?" He asked. "You sort of live with him, remember? He may be a complete bastard, but Itachi isn't stupid. He'll be able to tell eventually."

Sakura was quiet, and before she could say it, they _knew. _They _knew _she was not staying. "Naruto, I can't stay here." She murmured sadly, placing a slender hand on her flat stomach. "I need to protect this baby, and if Itachi can't love _me, _he most certainly can't love our child. I won't let my baby grow up feeling hated because of me and Itachi. So please, don't tell him. I don't need him coming after me with some sort of deranged sense that it's his duty to take care of us. Itachi doesn't need to take responsibility."

Naruto nearly yelped in response. "What the hell do you mean? Of course he needs to take responsibility!" He shouted.

Sasuke held a hand up to quiet him. "Calm down, Naruto," he muttered, before turning back to Sakura. "We won't tell him, but will you at least tell us where you're going?"

Her answer was heavy and dejected. "Very far away."

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><p>At first, he had been angry, enraged, even, when he had come home the day after Sakura had disappeared to see all of her belongings gone. She had never said a word, and yes, they had been fighting, but it had not been the first time. Relationships were never perfect, but they always managed to jump back up. To find everything she owned removed from their apartment, however, had been like a kick below the belt. As if she saw no reason to tell him she thought it was over. As if he was not just as big of a part of their relationship as she was.<p>

For weeks, he had stayed angry, and rightfully so, because the girl he had thought he was in love with, had just up and disappeared. Clearly, their feelings had not been mutual, if she could leave so easily. In all honesty, it had hurt, and when he had gone to her two best friends, his little brother and Uzumaki, it had hurt even more to hear that she did not want him to know where she had gone, and that they had promised to keep it a secret. He had not only been betrayed by the woman he had one day hoped to ask to marry him, but his own brother, because Sasuke had downright refused to tell him where she had gone.

He had finally decided that _fine, _she could do whatever she wished. He would not stop her, if she no longer wanted to be a part of his life. For him to be a part of hers. Rage rose at the insulting thought that she had run like a coward, not even bothering to explain _why _she felt it necessary to disappear off the planet. Itachi was a man more than capable of finding out where she had gone, being a very prominent officer in the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department, but he could not be bothered with it.

After a few months, he reached a point where he was no longer angry, but simply did not care what had happened to her. For two years, this indifference to her existence out in the world, continuing on without him, lasted, but he could feel it. He rose through the ranks at startling speeds, but Itachi felt incomplete. He did not want to think that he needed _her, _and tried to replace her with others, but they could not compare. They just were not Sakura.

Even after becoming Superintendent General of the TMPD, he still felt strangely empty, as if his life were only held together by fragile strings, and could fall in shambles at any given moment. He knew then, three years after her unexpected disappearance, that he would feel incomplete until he got her back. She belonged in his life, even if she failed to realize it. A petty fight they had years previous would not amount to much in the present. Once he found her, at least.

Much to his surprise, a prominent doctor like her was rather hard to find, when she did not want to be seen again. Every time he had gotten a lead on her, he would find out it was simply someone else, or that she had moved out a few months before. He had not wanted to resort to using his influence as Superintendent General, but after half a year of practically running about the country, knocking on the door of nearly every Haruno Sakura in Japan, he had reached the end of his impatience. He had wanted to find her himself, but he could not wait any longer.

Unfortunately, his department had suddenly gotten a major case when he had finally made this decision, so he was given little time to hunt her down in the department's database, let alone eat and sleep. By the time he had solved the case, as much as he hated to admit it, he had been too spent to care _where _Sakura had gone. It was only four years after her unwanted departure that Itachi decided to get off his ass and get his woman back. He was probably no more than a distant memory to her now, but if nothing else, Itachi was a determined man.

So, there he stood, on the welcoming mat of an unfamiliar duplex, praying that she would answer the door and let him in, both literally _and_ figuratively. The doorbell chimed beneath his hesitant finger, and almost instantly, he heard movement within the household. The soft padding of feet against hardwood flooring sounded as the person inside ran for the door. Not a moment too soon, the door flew open, and he stared into-

Nothing. There was no one there.

Much to his bewilderment, there was a childish giggle as a small body curled around his calves. "Sasuke-oji! We missed you!" The young voice pealed with laughter. Astonished, he stared down at the little girl, unable to even begin to comprehend just what he was seeing. Shocked, he could not so much as utter a word.

She, whoever she was, seemed to understand that something was out of place, and slowly released his legs to look up at him. They met each other's gaze with wide eyes, and immediately, he knew, without a doubt in his mind. She had the same dark, endless eyes and raven hair that every Uchiha had, but the heart shaped face and wide forehead she could have only inherited from Sakura. He knew whose child this had to have been, but he could not figure out for the life of him _why, _with this discovery, she had left.

"You aren't Sasuke-oji." The girl whispered so softly, he could hardly hear it.

"No, I am not," he murmured back. Astounded, Itachi squatted down to her level, so he could get a better look, just to be absolutely sure. But there was no questioning it.

Unfortunately, he was not given much of a chance to ponder this further, before that sweet, familiar voice called out. "Masami-chan, I know you're excited to see Sasuke again, but you can't just open the door whenever it rings! What would I do if someone weird was there, and decided to take you?" She scolded as she walked down the hallway to the door. Gracefully, Itachi stood again, eager to see her face.

She continued with a sigh as she turned the corner, "I'm sorry Sasuke, but you know how-

Sakura froze when she saw that it was not Sasuke in her doorstep, but rather, his older brother. Itachi. The man that had forced her away with his cold demeanor, and that had haunted her every waking thought since her leaving, because despite how hard she had tried not to, she still loved him. Now, he was standing there with _her _daughter, looking so confused that she wanted to pity him. Sakura knew better than to do that, though. In all likelihood, his family had finally found out about Masami, and now he was there to take her away.

Itachi watched in surprise as she gave him a fierce look, before quickly scooping the girl into her arms and backing away slowly. She was certainly a protective mother, and a strange surge of pride warmed his insides. Still, it concerned him that she found reason to be afraid of him. Did she honestly believe he would harm the girl? He did not want to know the answer to that.

Instead, he asked, "Sakura, why didn't you ever tell me I fathered a child?"

It was then that she stopped retreating, staring at him like a deer in the headlights of a semi-truck. He hardly cared that she had not invited him in, and walked into the duplex regardless. When she had given him such a pathetic look, he could not resist. She gaped up at his (much) taller form when he closed the door, her expression horrified.

"What right do you have to barge into _my _home, Uchiha?" She shrilled at him, her arms tightening around their confused daughter. The fact she had used his surname rather than his given was like a slap in the face, but he did not let that show. "I don't know how your stupid family found out about her, but you aren't taking Masami from me, so go!"

He was angry, yes. Baffled, yes. Even slightly bitter, yes. She had kept this from him for years, but he could not ever hate her, no matter what she did to him. Even if she went so far as to insult his Uchiha heritage. How he managed to keep his tone so level, Itachi had no idea. "Sakura," he started gently, "I believe I have every right to know my own daughter."

An awkward silence stretched between them, the atmosphere so heavy and thick that he could have cut through it with a knife. The girl nestled in Sakura's arms squirmed in discomfort, obviously trying to get another good look at him. She was bubbling with curiosity, his onyx eyes staring back at him in uncertainty. Finally, it was the girl, _Masami, _who summoned the courage to break the awful quietude.

"Okaa-san," She whispered furtively, "is he my Otou-san?"

Both mother and father looked surprised. Sakura had promised herself, from the beginning, that lies would be utterly unacceptable between her and Masami, and it was just about now that she was regretting that decision. Masami was a smart girl, and already had been able to sense that someone was missing her in life, despite being so young. Sakura had never talked about Itachi to her daughter, and for all she knew, Masami could have believed she had no father.

Itachi, however, could not have been happier. Slowly, he nodded his head, astonished when Masami struggled with her mother to reach for him. Sakura was not about to allow it, however. "Masami-chan, I think it's time for you to get your nap." She said quietly, not appreciating how she was squirming to get out of her hold. It hardly helped that Itachi was standing there, and was her daughter's objective.

"No!" Masami cried. "I wanna be with Otou-san!"

Sakura had heard enough. Not only was her behavior embarrassing, but her daughter was trying to undermine her authority, which she never allowed. "Stay here, Uchiha," Sakura snapped as she left the entrance area, carrying their whining daughter away. All the while, Itachi had no idea how he should be taking this. In a matter of minutes, he had found out that he was a father, and now his child was being led away.

Almost afraid that Sakura would not allow him to see Masami again, he followed her soundlessly, paying no heed to her demand. It had been a juvenile, rude move for her make, anyway. She did not notice his presence as she led the way up the narrow staircase and down the hall into a snug, pink bedroom. He stood in the doorway as she hushed their child, calming her with a gentle, rocking motion in her arms, before Masami was lulled into a steady sleep. Even afterwards, she stayed, having already curled Masami up into her small bed. He had not realized the reason until she turned to face him again, and he saw the tears in her green eyes. He could not help but to think that he had put them there.

"Sakura-

She glared at him, lifting a finger to her mouth. Carefully, she stood from Masami's bed, and navigated out of the sleeping child's room. He moved when she shooed him out of the doorway, and watched as she shut the door with care, being sure to not make a single sound. Even then, she gave him the cold shoulder, refusing to talk until after he had followed her back down the stairs and into the small kitchen. Not yet sure what he should say, or if he should wait for her to speak first, Itachi tentatively took a seat at the kitchen table, sitting up straight and scooting the chair in.

Sakura let out a long, tired sigh. "Tell me why you decided to come now, after so long." She said calmly, crossing her arms and leaning against the tabletop. It felt surreal, seeing her like that again, casually resting in the kitchen, as if it were old times. They had always talked together in the kitchen, when they had shared that apartment so long ago. He wanted to reach for her, to feel her slighter form curl into his arms again, but knew better than to do as he wished. Itachi knew he could not push her.

He looked her straight in the eye. "I still don't know why you left," Itachi commented softly.

She snorted at the thought. "Is that what you came here for? To know why our relationship ended? I was pretty sure it was obvious, now that you've seen Masami."

Itachi shook his head. "That is not why I decided to seek you out, and no, it isn't obvious why you suddenly disappeared, without saying so much as a word to be beforehand. All I knew was that everything you owned was gone, and that you weren't there." He answered cooly, crossing his arms and leaning back into the chair.

"Then what did you come here for? You just get bored, and needed someone to play with again? If that's what you want, I'm not interested." She grumbled pointedly pushing past the fact he clearly still wanted to know why she had fled. As far as she was concerned, it was no longer any of his business. If he had chosen to come after her much sooner, this entire confrontation situation may have worked, but it would not now. It was much too late for him to pull that trick.

"I will tell me why I came, if you will tell me why you left." He finally offered. What he had really wanted to say was, _I never played with you, _but the chances of her believing that were sadly slim. She probably would have slapped him, if he dared to say such a thing, even if it was the truth.

"Why?"

He answered simply. "I need to know what I did wrong."

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><p>Sakura turned her face in the opposite direction, refusing to look at him. He was as good looking as she remembered, though he looked much more tired now, with those haunted shadows under his eyes, than he had before. Somehow, that had gotten worse in their years apart. More than avoiding his good looks, however, she did not want him to see her cry again. It was bad enough he would hear her, if she told him her reasoning, but she did not need him to see her so pathetically weak. She was a grown woman, and was more than capable of taking care of herself. The idea of him thinking otherwise was mildly disturbing.<p>

"The night you returned home to an empty apartment was when I found out I was pregnant." Sakura muttered mutedly. Already, she could feel the tears coming back again. "It took me hours to run over everything I could do about it, but in the end, I chose what was best for myself, and most importantly, for her. I could not let my unborn child grow up feeling miserable, so I decided I could not stay there with you. I figured that, at that point, you would not have cared either way."

Itachi felt a mixture of disgust and horror. How she would have thought removing herself from his life would better that of their child was beyond him. The fact she had thought he would not care the woman he loved had simply walked away without looking back was even more disturbing. He hardly knew how to set her right, without being offensive.

"What ever gave you the impression that I wouldn't care, Sakura?" He questioned.

He heard her smother a sob with her hands. "What the hell was I supposed to think?" She seethed. "We had been fighting, and you hadn't even touched me since the night Masami happened. I was afraid of what could happen, if you found out I was pregnant, and I didn't want to think that I would always feel so lonely with you. I didn't know what I was supposed to do for my baby, but I knew that she would never grow up happily in that environment. As far as I was concerned, you didn't love me, and could never love her."

Itachi felt his throat go dry. She had thought he did not love her? That he would be incapable of loving the beautiful child they had created together? This was insanity. And by the way she kept sniffling, he felt safe to assume that this still affected her. Which could only mean she was still emotionally drawn to him. His heart ached to comfort her.

Itachi remembered with detail the night they had last slept together. They had both been angry, undoubtedly because of the terrible days they had both had, and so when he had gotten home, nothing had stopped him from taking her. It had been glorious, watching each time as her face would contort with pleasure, and seeing her body bend for him with every round. Their lovemaking had lasted all through the night, so it should have been no surprise she had conceived. He usually would only keep one or two condoms in their bedroom, and they had been too eager that night for him to grab a few from the bathroom. They had run out early into the night.

It was days after that wonderful night that the fight had started. It had been the smallest things, but with the combination of their tempers, it had escalated into something much bigger. It got to the point where they stopped talking altogether. It had been then that Sakura had left, before waiting out the storm, and meeting him on the other side. Their fight had not meant that he did not love her, though. He _still _loved her.

As he sat there helplessly, Itachi found that he could not let her cry and sit there idly. Noiselessly, he stood, walking around the table to where she stood, her face buried into her hands as tears poured down her cheeks. Guilty, he brought her into his arms, not caring if she would not appreciate it. She needed it, whether it injured her pride or not. Much to his satisfaction, she did not reject his gesture, instead welcoming it. Instinctively, she wanted his touch, to feel his warmth consume her again.

"You have no idea how much it killed me to leave, Itachi," Sakura wailed into his chest, hot breath sticking to his skin through the cotton shirt he was wearing. She did not realize how automatically his name rolled off her tongue. "I wanted you to stop me somehow, but I didn't give you the chance, because I would only be trapped in the same cycle again, and that would have been worse."

"Sakura," he whispered.

"But what I'm saying is pointless, right? You didn't love me, and nothing's changed since then. I'm just the pathetic single mom who is trying to raise my little girl right, and you're the bastard who's going to take her away. Who cares if she's never happy, as long as you win, right? That's all that matters."

"Sakura," Itachi tried again.

"I already know they made you Superintendent General. How well's that paying you, huh? More than a doctor, I bet. You can hire the best lawyers in the country so you can steal my daughter from me, now that you know. One of those fake-blonde sluts you probably bang every night would make a _great _mother, I'm sure. Of course, you'll have fun seeing her grow up to be just like them, but that would be your problem, right? After all, you're the one with the money, and you're already used to getting whatever you want, so-

Annoyed to say the least, Itachi stepped back and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Would you listen to yourself?" He pleaded.

Thankfully, she did not reply, besides repeating her original question. "Itachi, why are you here?"

She looked so tormented, he found himself answering more frankly than he normally would have. "Because, Sakura," Itachi growled, "I love you."

* * *

><p>AN: Something random that was inspired by <em>Sariasprincy's<em> most recent chapter for _Cold Case. _(Hope you don't mind my using the idea of pregers Sakura leaving Itachi!) Of course, I changed things around a little bit. :) In all honesty, I'm not even sure what it is anymore. It started out as something a little angsty, with Sakura running away, then drama-ish, when Itachi suddenly showed up...but still slightly romantic. I hope.

I will not be writing any sequels/prequels for this one-shot. It'll pretty much just stand alone, so...sorry. I'm not a huge fan of writing chapter-fics that are AU. But anyway, please drop me a review and let me know what you think! The artist is starving, so feed me! :O


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